


JUST IN CASE: A DaveKat Grand Canyon Story

by FunkMcLovin



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, The Grand Canyon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-26
Updated: 2019-11-26
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:41:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21567796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FunkMcLovin/pseuds/FunkMcLovin
Summary: JUST IN CASE Audio-Fic is available on Youtube here:YOUTUBE LINKPLEASE NOTE. "Just in Case" text is unformatted. Please listen to the Audio-Fic (linked above) for the Intended Shitpost Experience™
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas
Comments: 3
Kudos: 19





	JUST IN CASE: A DaveKat Grand Canyon Story

Dave peered down the chasm, rubbing his chin, lost in a sea of thought. His friend Karkat stood behind him, arms tightly crossed. Dave put his hands on his hips decisively, taking a slow deep breath in through his nose, letting it out his pursed lips, puffing his cheeks.  
"Well?" Asked Karkat, a note of desperation in his voice. "You're not REALLY going to do it, are you?"  
Dave's hair whipped in the wind. The Grand Canyon 2: The Big Enchilada for all sports tricks. Dave stood by the mighty monument to Earth C's geological prowess, his voice echoing back at him from inside the gaping maw.  
"I've got to, K-Dog. It's my destiny."  
Karkat's palm found his face.   
"It's not your fucking destiny, you ape. Your destiny was to lodge a big sword into a green monster."  
"Was." Dave emphasized. "Now that that's finished, I'm a man without purpose. In a world without laws." He paused, for drama. "Laws about what kind of sick skateboard stunts you can do across big fucking canyons, specifically."  
"This is stupid. You're stupid." Karkat said, his brow furrowing like its own grand canyon. "You can't jump over this on a shitty human four-wheel-board."  
Dave's brow quirked, making an appearance above his shades.  
"Me? Karkat, no, no. I'm far too tall and lanky to have the proper physical properties to make this jump." Dave said, looking out across the canyon, shielding his eyes from the setting sun.   
"Oh." Said Karkat. He was a little relieved, because he didn't like to see his best buddy die a painful death falling down a fucking canyon. "Well then what was all that about destiny?"  
"It's my destiny to facilitate such a feat, Karkat. I won't be making the jump myself- That honor, of course... Will fall to you."  
Dave clapped his comrade on the shoulder, face stern and tacit, as usual. Karkat was beginning to suspect Dave had told so many things ironically he had forgotten how to speak in earnest.   
"Haha. No." Said Karkat. One simple, derisive syllable, but one Dave wouldn't take for an answer.  
"Haha. Yes." He replied, his laugh deadpan as the rest of his words. "We're going to load you onto a skateboard and by God and all that is holy, you are going to use it to fling you asunder, like a great thread connecting two ends of this fine canyon. The crowd will shit their pants collectively, their jaws rolling comically away into the great gulf you just cleared."  
Karkat wasn't sold, but he was beginning to get nervous. Dave had a tendency to get his way as a matter of insistence, which usually amounted to him riding shotgun or getting the last slice of pizza, but never insisting his bosom bud Karkat leap an entire fucking caynon. A grand one, no less.  
"Dave, listen to me, very carefully. Each one of my words carries a gravid, heavy meaning, and I don't want a single one misconstrued." Karkat waited for a moment to make sure Dave didn't have any more quips. "I. Will not. Jump. That Canyon."  
The wind whistled, rustling some leaves across the cracked ground in front of them.  
"Fine." Said Dave. Karkat's shoulders un-tensed. "I'll just make some event arrangements for if you change your mind."  
"I'm not going to change my fucking mind!!"  
"Haha. Okay."  
Over the next week, Karkat watched Dave make preparations. Dave made calls, put down non-refundable deposits, bought skateboards, and set up ramps, all while Karkat was silent, growing more and more nervous by the day.  
While Dave was out buying some new ball-bearings, Karkat furtively clicked on the Facebook event Dave had set up. The page was called the "Just in Case Karkat Changes His Mind About Jumping The Grand Canyon 2 Skateboard Exhibition (Not Clickbait.)" Karkat scoffed. If this was a joke, he didn't get it. Surely no one would show up to this ridiculous farce. Unfortunately, to Karkat's horror... The RSVPs numbered in the hundreds of thousands, even with the appointed day four days out.  
When Dave arrived home, a panicked Karkat was waiting on the couch of their shared apartment.  
"I'm not doing it!" He blurted out as soon as Dave had his shoes off.  
"I know." Dave said simply, withdrawing a plastic package of skateboard wheels from the plastic bag he was carrying.  
"Then... Then why are you still DOING all this?!"  
"I told you, dude." Dave said, setting down his keys. "Just in case."  
For some reason, this did not satisfy the diminutive troll.  
The day of the event arrived, and Karkat was home. Dave was out at the canyon, waiting for Karkat. Even though he was miles away, Karkat's heart pounded. His fingers drummed on the armrest of the couch, his free hand covering his mouth.  
He'd begged all of his friends to do something with him today to occupy his time. He'd asked Jade to go to the mall, John to look at weird bugs, he'd even invited Rose to the troll history museum, but they all had said the same thing to him.  
"I want to be at the canyon!" The last three words echoed in his brain. "Just in case."  
On the couch, he boiled. He seethed. His trademark rage was about to get the better of him.  
"I'll go down there and TELL that smug fuck MYSELF!" He announced to absolutely no one, standing up stiffly, marching towards the door.  
The canyon was an hour's ride away, but even as he pulled up, people were packed into bleachers in throngs. Karkat's heart nearly stopped. Dave had been funding this personally, he wondered just how much that maniac had dropped on this freak event. As he approached the tents and bleachers, people took notice of him, beginning to erupt into cheers. Karkat's face burned red.  
He walked towards the lip of the canyon, to where Dave had parked in a big lawn chair complete with two beverage holders, both full of cans of Arizona iced tea.  
"Hey, K-town. You made it. Check it out-" He tossed a can of Arizona to Karkat. "We got a brand deal with Arizona. They said they'd recoup half what I paid on the stadium if you take a sip of Mucho Mango at the crest of your jump."  
Karkat barely managed to catch the can, fumbling with it before tossing it to the ground. FOr some reason, he couldn't summon his rage.  
"I just came here to tell you I'm not going to fucking jump the canyon!" He said. The crowd listened intently, murmuring behind him. "Just- Just tell everyone to go fucking home!!"  
Karkat turned to the throng, wrenching a loudspeaker from Dave's lap.  
"DO YOU HEAR THAT, YOU CRETINS? GO HOME! NO FUNNY GRAND CANYON 2 JUMP TODAY, IDIOTS!"  
The crowd mumbled, disappointed. Dave put a hand on Karkat's shoulder.  
"Look, dude, you didn't have to come down to tell us that. No pressure, man." Dave said, his voice low and calm.  
"S... So you'll tear this farce down...?" Begged the little grey man. Dave chuckled and Karkat's tiny heart sank, marinating down in his stomach acids.  
"Nah. We're gonna stick around for just a little bit." Dave winked. His shades obfuscated his eyes, but Karkat could see it just so. "...Just in case."  
At those three syllables, Karkat erupted.  
"FINE!" He bellowed, marching over to a tent, his feet making dusty stomp-imprints in the cracked soil. "YOU WANT TO SEE ME JUMP JUST IN CASE?"  
Skateboards of all make and model were arranged in the tent, Karkat barely bothered to look, grabbing one off the rack. The crowd's cheers couldn't be heard over Karkat's rushing eardrums, blood and rage pounding through his body. He pushed Dave, grabbing the stupid can of Arizona from Dave's asinine chair, cracking it open with his sharp nail, splashing some on his face.  
As Karkat lined up, skateboard beneath his shaky foot, his jaw set, the crowd was silent, the air still.  
"RAAAAAGHHH!!!" With a war cry to scare off the huns, Karkat began to pump his leg, forcing his muscless into action, hot blood filling his leg, his rage concentrated into that single point. The board beneath his feet collided with the ramp, and up he went, the ground leaving him, the sky greeting him. His cry of rage echoed through the canyon as time felt slow. The far side of the canyon got closer and closer by increments, and as Karkat's voice died down, he blinked, a look of shock overtaking those harsh features.  
The world was silent. He was floating. He was calm, peaceful. Wind rushed against his face and he shut his eyes slowly.  
He'd managed to clear five feet before plummetting into the rocks below.  
Weeks later, Karkat sat in the hospital, a full body cast encasing his body. The only part of him that could move were his eyes, which were trained on one of the many Earth C soap operas he'd come to appreciate during his stay at St. John's Troll Hospital. Just as Empress Trizza was about to reveal her dark secret, a face appeared in front of the TV.  
"Hey, dude." It was Dave, back again. In his hands, a gift basket. He placed the cellophane-wrapped gift where Karkat could see it: It was full of three six-packs of Arizona tea.  
"MMMGH." Karkat said, trying desperately to communicate to Dave to move. He wasn't in the mood to visit.  
"I love you too, buddy. Listen. I want to apologize about the jump, dude." Dave scratched the back of his neck. "I didn't know it would go SO bad, I figured you had like, troll strength or something. I'm just glad you're ok."  
Karkat wasn't anything close to OK, so he just stared daggers at Dave.  
"But hey, I've got great news."  
Karkat looked up hopefully. Maybe this meant he'd be out of this hospital soner than he expected.  
"Since I felt so bad about the first one, I'm setting up another jump. This time, I'm thinking a snowmobile."  
Karkat blinked.  
"Don't answer yet, dude, just rest up. By the time you get out, I'll have it all set up."  
Dave cracked the shadow of a grin.  
"Just on the off chance."


End file.
